90 Percent

Take every film ever made and marathon them straight through. In this scenario, let’s not include the countless student films, homemade films, and YouTube fodder. Don’t worry, in this experiment, time’s frozen so it’s possible to sit through them all and there’s unlimited popcorn and Reese’s Pieces. Only watch feature films, movies with an organized production, budget, and actual release. Yes, those are strict parameters, but sit tight, take a breath and prepare for this … Ok, so in regards to every film ever shot, then watched by an audience per this absurd criteria and we’ll find that the 1990s classic, Home Alone, starring Macaulay Culkin is, more or less, better than 90% of all of the films in the marathon – every film ever made. 

Claims of quality are notoriously challenging to argue as taste is so subjective. But this heartfelt, funny, Rube Goldberg of a film is hard to hate. Even those who despise Christmas probably have a special place in their heart for this flick. The music is classic, the gags are fun, the child actors are far from insufferable, and there are loads of charming jokes baked in. Remember older brother Buzz’s quips or Kevin playing the fictional classic film, Angels With Filthy Souls, for the pizza delivery guy.

Sure, anyone can rip a hole in its continuity, criticize the senseless plot, and gripe about the utter stupidity of every adult in the film, but what’s the point of doing that? It’s a movie made for us to enjoy, there’s nothing to be gained from criticizing it other than reaping the rewards of a highly clickable negative opinion.

In storytelling we embellish, make mistakes, suffer sacrifices for the bigger picture, bend the rules even. Despite all its textbook mistakes and obvious seams we still enjoy Home Alone time and time again. We keep rewatching it for the fun of it. Hell, we’ve likely rewatched it more times than 90% of other movies. 


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